23 /M/ NY. Currently living in Cambridge, Mass. I love: traveling, Bukowski's poetry, writing postcards, playing cello, classic literature, learning in general - specifically about religions and globalization, and opinionated discussion. If I follow you I WILL drop you random asks to know more about who you are. I don't always follow back. Also, my N key is very sticky so I'll leave out random Ns in my posts - forgive me. Want me to see something? - I follow the tag wabisabihygge with no hyphens.
Last night was the awakening to a series of small realities. I experienced moments of clarity throughout my day that truly told me of the power I possess these days. I accept these charges moving forward and hope to develop a stronger sense of self.
My dreams came as a series of small occurrences like short stories. I would wake up briefly either with a quick jolt or a confused haze before slipping back into a subconscious reality.
Because I just had a dream that I adopted a pet jaguar and a day later it had a litter of baby jaguars and then I had like 6 jaguar kittens. My dreams really know how to be kickass - there is nothing better than playing with 6 baby jaguars. No dream analysis here, it was just awesome.
Another strange one. This one had a war theme to it with a post-war society feel. I was subjected to slavery by an occupying army after those who fought on my side fell to an army of some kind of samurai or old-school army.
I was in a peaceful, secluded clearing in the middle of the woods. I was sitting under a colorful cloth canopy, kneeling on a soft pillow with a sword resting on the ground in front of me. Others surrounded me, guarding me from no present threat. Suddenly, a scout signaled an approaching force. I sprang up from my peaceful position and ran to higher ground overlooking a stream and small opening to the clearing. I brought the sword, somehow knowing it exuded power. Before I was able to settle on the high ground, almost temple-like atmosphere, I spied the approaching enemy. My first comment out loud was to realize it was the ‘Terracotta Army’ (of Qin Shi Huang - first emperor of China). Two of their scouts came with banners to my temple and I fled, sword drawn in both my hands. I fought side-by-side with the guards around me and I remember cutting someone right through their stomach. In the end, there were too may of them and I was spared in exchange for the sword.
Some time passed and the circumstances had changed. I was a minority, with powerful being controlling my surroundings. There was an invasion of flying ships that had lasers like from War of the Worlds and started zapping everyone into dust. The dream shifted to a video-game style where I was an avatar in a game and I watched other people, as avatars, being eliminated by hovering spaceships. There was a structure that looked like a table that I hid behind so that my face was visible but my name icon was hidden by the table’s edge so that the hovering ships couldn’t identify and eliminate me. Others began to crowd my spot, realizing the safety of my position. This made the occupying forces release ground forces that came in the form of a rolling block that acted like ‘Thwomp’ from Mario Brothers. In true Mario Party fashion, the spaces it struck people were counted off 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, and it hit me at the 2 mark. This hit made me anxious what would happen to me, like, “Am I going to get eliminated now?”
Instead, I was back to viewing things first-person out on an African plains, but in an open-air, but completely furnished, living room. I was standing in front of the couch, faced towards me in front of the missing back wall, with an end table and book shelf to my left standing upright where a wall would be. To my right was open space and an endless safari plain. Above me was a kid of white sheet or tent structure so that I was out of the shade, but it was sunny everywhere else. Under the end table were two lion cubs faced away from me and panting in the heat. Behind the couch about 50 feet away were a trio of cats: a lion, a tiger, and a female lioness. As soon as I noticed them they began inching towards me with their mouths open, baring large, white teeth. I took a few steps back as the cats dipped their heads with their shoulder blades arched and sliding past one another with each step. The couch became a screen as I could only track the tiger who crept around the right side of the couch i plain view while the lioness circled ‘round the left side. I tracked the tiger, catching its eyes as it hurriedly approached and, as it came around the right corner of the couch, the lion surprised me and sprang up on top of the couch from behind. My panic intensified and blacked me out until I was awake and thinking of how strange that dream was.
Analysis:
Canopy -To see a canopy in your dream symbolizes protection. You may also be elevated to a prominent position.
Sword -To dream that you are wielding a sword represents your strength, ambition, competitive nature decisiveness and willpower. You are looking to hold a position of prestige, authority, and distinction. Alternatively, the sword may be seen as a phallic symbol and thus represent masculine power.
Stream -To see a stream in your dream represents a flow of fresh and profound ideas. The stream is also symbolic of the flow of your emotions. Alternatively, the dream may be a pun on something that is “streaming” in at a steady pace. Perhaps you need to be patient.
Temple -To see a temple in your dream represents inspiration, spiritual thinking, meditation and growth. It is also symbolic of your physical body and the attention you give it. Perhaps you need to pamper yourself. Alternatively, the dream suggests that you are looking for a place of refuge and a place to keep things that are dear to you.
Invasion -To dream of an invasion represents your need to be more assertive. Stand up for yourself and let your voice be known. Don’t let others tell you what to do.
Video Game -To see or dream that you are a character in a video game suggests that you are feeling controlled and manipulated by others. You feel that you have no control over your actions or are not taking responsibility for them.
Plains -To see the plains in your dream represent wholesomeness and homegrown goodness. Alternatively, the dream suggests that you have a clear and smooth path ahead. The plains may also be a pun on someone who is plain.
Lion -To see a lion in your dream symbolizes great strength, courage, aggression and power. You will overcome some of your emotional difficulties. As king of the jungle, the lion also represents dignity, royalty, leadership, pride and domination. You have much influence over others. You also need to exercise some restraint in your own personal and social life.
To dream that you are attacked by a lion suggests that a force may be driving you to self-destruction. You need overcome these challenges and obstacles.
Alternatively, a lioness symbolizes hope, victory, tenacity and stamina.
Tiger - To see a tiger in your dream represents power and your ability to exert it in various situations. The dream may also indicate that you need to take more of a leadership role. Alternatively, the tiger represents female sexuality, aggression, and seduction.
To dream that you are attacked by a tiger refers to the emotions that you have repressed because you were afraid of confronting them.
It appears that I need to assert myself more as a figure of authority or leadership. I don’t give myself enough credit to handle myself, my own actions, and how I live my life enough to keep others from manipulating me. I should be more concerned with my own happiness and pampering my self-worth. If I don’t it will result in a self-destruction, specifically of my emotional well-being.
Last night I had another crazy dream. I’ve been i a sleep pattern where I’ll fall asleep early and then wake up around 3 with my mind racingwith the most elaborate but insane thoughts. I’ll sit motionless for a time and drift into sleep without realizing it. Then, I’ll be in the midst of a very realistic dream and be lucid where I KNOW I’m dreaming. A few nights ago I even had a dream where I imagined inch-worming across the lap of foxandthemonk during a slumber party. It was strange to see a tumblr friend, whom I’ve never even heard speak, in the middle of my lucid dream. The trigger was that I was in a basement but it wasn’t mine, which is certainly a weird trigger. Anyways, my dream last night happened after I feel back asleep around 4:30-5:30 when I woke up in a sweat. Here’s how it went down.
I recall being on my back porch for a pool party with my friends. We were all celebrating and having a great time. Reminded me of my graduation party when I had about 75-100 people stop by with pong on the side of the house, heated pool with drunk kids everywhere, drinking all up on the deck and everyone was having a great time. Same atmosphere with people jumping in the pool and swimming with smiles on their faces. I had a slide (which I don’t actually) and I was having a blast sliding down. We eventually went inside, probably 20 of us and they went down to my basement while I was talking with my parents.
Suddenly (although there may have been an occurrence or reason why that I can’t remember), the wall sparked and caught on fire. It seemed odd at first and no one reacted. The fire spread and as I tried to blow it out and smother it the fire spread like a pipe dream schematic until it was a blaze of right-angled configurations. The walls burned away until it exposed the guts of the wall and I ran to grab a fire extinguisher. Meanwhile, the people in the basement were laughing; seemingly disrespectful for the direness of the situation. I put out the fire and surveyed the ashes in disbelief.
The dream jumped to a parking lot on the edge of a wooded forest. I believe it was an entrance to a park, possibly a state park. I was knowingly inebriated or under the influence of something and even shotgunned a beer or did a beer bong in the dream. The feeling felt like the pregame celebration of a Dave Matthews concert at SPAC that I used to go to in my early years of highschool. Say what you will about those concerts or his music, but I had my fun at those pregames. Anyways, I went from the edge of the forest through the first line of trees which gave way to a golf course. I ran across one of the greens while someone was putting and emerged at a mini-golf place that I apparently worked at. I had to drive one of the carts to a hole where someone was acting up. When I got there I abandoned my task immediately and began exploring beyond the golf course, back into the forest. I think I ended up in an open clearing before the dream fades and I don’t remember any more.
Analysis:
Basement -To dream that you are in a basement symbolizes your unconscious mind and intuition. The appearance of the basement is an indication of your unconscious state of mind and level of satisfaction. It represents primal urges, animalistic desires and basic needs.
Sleepover -To dream that you are at a sleepover indicates that there is a situation that you are refusing to see or accept. You need to be more alert and pay attention to what is going around you. Alternatively, the dream suggests that you need to let your guard down and learn to be more open and receptive.
Porch, or deck in my scenario -To dream of a porch represents your personality, your social self, your facade and how you portray yourself to others. Consider the condition and size of the porch. If the porch is open, then it signifies your outgoing nature and welcoming attitude.
Fire (put out with my parents’ help) -
Depending on the context of your dream, to see fire in your dream can symbolize destruction, passion, desire, illumination, purification, transformation, enlightenment, or anger. It may suggest that something old is passing and something new is entering into your life. Your thoughts and views are changing. In particular, if the fire is under control or contained in one area, then it is a metaphor of your own internal fire and inner transformation. It represents your drive, motivation, and creative energy.
To dream that a house is on fire indicates that you need to undergo some transformation. If you have recurring dreams of your family house on fire, then it suggests that you are still not ready for the change or that you are fighting against the change. Alternatively, it highlights passion and the love of those around you.
To dream that you put out a fire signifies that you will overcome your obstacles in your life through much work and effort.
Forest - To dream that you are in or walking through the forest signifies a transitional phase. Follow your instincts. Alternatively, it indicates that you want to escape to a simpler way of life. You are feeling weighed down by the demands of your life.
Golf Course- To dream that you are on a golf course represents your desires for freedom. You want to escape the grind of your occupation. Alternatively, the dream may be a pun of how you are green or environmentally conscious.
If you’re wondering what I do to come up with this, I keep a dream journal and write down what happens in my dream. Once I have it all written out I think about the most vivid memories in the dream and look for their analysis on an online site such as Dream Moods Dictionary. Then I get some perspective on what it all means and put it into a larger context like this:
I’m obviously at a point where my subconscious wishes to express itself as a desire for a simpler, more fulfilling way of life. I would do better with things being simpler in my day-to-day life and I should seek activities that aren’t complex. My social being is that of an ope person, much like how I wish my life to be - I should seek to sync the two. The fire is an internal transformation of understanding my own peace and satisfaction that will inevitably allow me to live a happier life. My instincts and primal desires will help - be ready to accept new love. On that note, take the love of my family as a blessing and understand their passion for me and my life.Overall, simple is better and my freedom will always be what I desire.
“There is the dance of the grocer, of the tailor, of the auctioneer, by which they endeavor to persuade their clientele that they are nothing but a grocer, an auctioneer, a tailor. A grocer who dreams is offensive to the buyer, because such a grocer is not wholly a grocer. Society demands that he limit himself to his function as a grocer, just as the soldier at attention makes himself into a soldier-thing with a direct regard which does not see at all, which is no longer meant to see, since it is the rule and not the interest of the moment which determines the point he must fix his eyes on (the sight ‘fixed at ten paces’). There are indeed many precautions to imprison a man in what he is, as if we lived in perpetual fear that he might escape from it, that he might break away and suddenly elude his condition.”
from Being and Nothingness by Jean-Paul Sartre
(Source: philosophicalmeandering)
I had a dream about you last night. There’s not much to analyze this time around. We were in my house, the way it was set up years ago in the old family room with the fireplace. The couch was corduroy, the blankets were blue. It’s my comfortable memory where I used to make cushion forts and laugh while playing pogs (yes, pogs). You sat on my couch next to me until the night grew old. We walked up to my bedroom and I still remember thinking about how cute your butt looks when you walk up the stairs. We went to bed and when we woke up (yeah, I ‘woke up’ in my dream) you were lying next to me, asleep. I wet for a glass of water and when I came back you were stirring. I smiled and was filled with relief, happiness, a sense of relaxation, and you told me you needed more time (to sleep). I hugged you over the covers and you rolled over to cover your eyes.
Even in my dreams I knew it was a matter of timing. It wasn’t just about the morning sleep, or even some dream that let me imagine reality. One day you will look at me and feel what I feel. This is more than just a dream, this is a dream that has always been a reality for me. You need time and I’m ok with that. We both have a long way to go but one thing remains constant - I will always love you. I will love others, I will be happy no matter what, I will discover who I am, and I expect you to do the same. I don’t have expectations, I know you think of them as such. I have confidence that love will eventually turn the tides. I have faith in that more than I have faith in anything in this world.
I was rafting naked down a winding river in an inflatable yellow raft with an outboard motor on the back. It was pretty chill to be in the outdoors with trees climbing either side of the banks and the sun beaming down on my face. I had gone up and down the river a few times but I was enjoying one direction more than the other. I realized I had zoned out and wandered too far when I saw people fishing and swimming on the far side of the banks just up ahead of where I was. I turned around to go back the way I came and, in turning, lost control of the raft and began lurching left and right, headed for a steep cliff with water running swiftly down (like a waterfall). My first thought was to grab on to the tree branches nearest where I was going over the falls ad then to grab my raft. I grabbed the branch which slipped under the falling weight of myself and the raft. With a scared effort I grabbed onto the rock face and had a decent hold. All the while, the motor continued to roar as I held the raft and noticed it slowly deflating from a puncture. I clutch the rock with one hand ad the raft with the other as I make my way up the rock face back to where the river was, but it was now solid land. To my right was a man with fishing gear who was surprised to see me climbing up. He remarked, “Not many people lay their feet around these parts. You get too much further from here and there aren’t too many people around.” At this point, I realize the propeller is still wheeling around pretty fiercely, I’m still naked and, new to this dream, my car is somehow almost over the waterfall (mysteriously parked there). I as the guy if he’ll give me a ride and he says sure. As he packs up his fishing gear we hear a weird growl, like a snarl. I knew what it was instantly - a mountain lion. Sure enough, the lion comes out of the brush and stalks towards me and this man. The man throws me in front of him like a shield ad the lion makes pace towards me. The lion is smaller in stature and looks more like an African lion (with a mane) that happens to live in the mountains. The lion sizes me up and eventually stands up on two legs with a much larger presence now. He’s taller than me and looks at me to ask, “Are you a cat guy?” I reply that I am (having only ever owned cats and I had just watched a ‘cat whisperer’ show on animal planet) and appease the standing beast by slowly blinking with care to avoid direct eye contact.
It was a very strange dream, for sure. Couple things to take note of:
Mountain lion - To see a mountain lion in your dream represents lurking danger, aggression and raw emotions. You need to keep your attitude and emotions in check. Alternatively, the mountain lion symbolizes pride and grace.
Waterfall - To see water in your dream symbolizes your unconscious and your emotional state of mind. Water is the living essence of the psyche and the flow of life energy. It is also symbolic of spirituality, knowledge, healing and refreshment. To see a waterfall in your dream is symbolic of letting go. You are releasing all those pent up emotions and negative feelings. Alternatively, the dream represents your goals and desires. In particular, if the waterfall is clear, then it represents revitalization, regeneration and renewal.
Naked - Often times, when you realize that you are naked in your dream, no one else seems to notice. Everyone else in the dream is going about their business without giving a second look at your nakedness. If this happens in your dream, then it implies that your fears are unfounded; no one will notice except you. You may be magnifying the situation and making an issue of nothing. If you dream that you are proud of your nakedness and show no embarrassment or shame, then it symbolizes your unrestricted freedom. You have nothing to hide and are proud of who you are. The dream is about a new sense of honesty, openness, and a carefree nature. Perhaps you are trying to get to the bare facts. Alternatively, the dream may be telling you that you are drawing the wrong kind of attention to yourself. You want to get noticed, but are going about it the wrong way.
This dream was pretty dead on for what I’m going through right now. I feel emotionally scattered with thoughts of freedom (moving out and living on my own), financial stress, desperation for a job, missing companionship, being uprooted from my social circle, and the need to be more mature about how I go about my daily business. Something I haven’t updated is that over the weekend I was shithammered off tequila and ended up browning out. I protested getting a cab home and decided to walk the 25 minute walk with just a light suit jacket to keep me warm. Somewhere on the walk I got into a fight with a group of guys and got punched out pretty hard. Don’t remember how or why it all happened but I woke up with a nasty black eye. All I ca think about now is how dumb I’ll look if I go in for an interview and have to explain, “I’m in a really intense broomball league.”
Last night I had a wide variety of emotions permeate the focus of my dreams. At one point I was playing drums for a crowd of tens of thousands of people who loved the music I was playing (I don’t even know how to play drums). The next moment I was face-to-face with the former friend who broke into my house and robbed me with a couple of friends (happened in real life). There’s a longer story there about what actually happened, I addressed it before in another journal but if you’re curious send me an ask and I’ll post it again.
Seeing this kid’s face triggered something in me and the next thing I know I was coming home to my house as a black mother and her two children were exiting my house. The house was trashed as if there was a party there the night before and when I confronted the woman she said she was staying there the night ad had interviewed with me to stay there. It was a complete lie and she knew it and she inched her way out of the house. There was a car in the driveway that she ran to and the license plate said San Diego, clearly not from around the area of my house. It was all surreal because it felt like it was really happening, like someone had used my house like it was theirs. When I went back in the house after the family had left there were things missing all throughout the house. I remember thinking how all of these ‘things’ were gone and being taken aback that I cared so much for these material objects. I was just as upset with that revelation as I was about the breach of privacy and personal space.
Music concert performance - To dream of a concert of a high musical order, denotes delightful seasons of pleasure, and literary work to the author. To the business man it portends successful trade, and to the young it signifies unalloyed bliss and faithful loves.
Intruders - Intruders are difficult symbols in some ways as they have several different meanings. They can link to an unsettled feeling inside you as you have maybe been thinking and feeling uncomfortably. Maybe your routine has been upset. Intruders may also represent moments when you feel as if you have been personally confronted and criticized. Think about, “going beyond someones personal boundaries” “thinking in inappropriate ways” or “getting inside someone’s mind and knowing exactly why they thought…” to understand why intruders exist in the dream.
Burglar - This might indicate fears or difficult emotions arising from within you in a way that threatens you. If this applies it could indicate neglected parts of yourself which if met could enlarge who you are as a person.
I believe the three to be related. The intruder/burglar part of the dream explain the first part. I recently talked to a ‘stranger’ who had a story of life very similar to mine. I guess you could say it hit home close enough where putting on their shoes really wasn’t much of a stretch. It was, and it wasn’t. See, it was a girl who very much resembles a past love of mine with thoughts and a position in life that were similar to my ex just before she cheated on me (we were technically on a break, but one with every intention of getting back together - at least, on my part). It hit home deep enough because I knew exactly where her mind was and I went ahead and crawled right up in there.
While I was poking around I supplanted the knowledge I got from living a life of multiple partners and denying my inherent nature of monogamous relations because if I couldn’t have this girl, I’d have no one special. Well, I knew it didn’t sit well with her, how could it? I was essentially telling her to experience life because that’s what I had done. What I didn’t say was that I wish more than anything that I never have. And even if I never got this girl back I still wish I had remained faithful in body, because my mind has never faltered in my steadfast love (it’s sappy, just bear with me). My uncontrollable thoughts about this ex are what drive me to be so ope and ok with my experiences. I can’t ever say that I regret what happened because I never would’ve had the clarity without having gone through the whole ordeal. But I also ever would’ve known to stay faithful all this time.
Realistically, I doubt I’ll ever get back with my ex. I love her with my whole heart but there are just so many things keeping that from being a reality. I think the dream solidified how amazing, how freeing and how much ‘like being a rockstar in a concert’ can feel like to be faithful. I really value my morals and defining characteristics and loyalty, fidelity, and faithful love are some of the highlights. It’s kind of a shame and a waste that I only realize these qualities when I have someone to share them with. When it’s just me by myself I don’t notice them or feel them at all. I think it’s time to start getting back the confidence in who I am and realizing that I’m a decent human being.
This was a dream I had a little while ago and it was by far the most exotic and chaotic dream yet. Most of the scenery in the dream happened in an open field, but there was also a weird suburbanish scene where I was at a hotel of sorts at an awards show and a African shanty town setting with wild animals running free. From what I remember, this is what happened…
I was in the African shanty town with tin siding covering houses constructed from earth and debris. Animals were roaming around and part of my goal was to avoid SOME animals and to catch others. I would fly up over the town and it was laid out as a circle with a large, dead tree i the middle. There were other people running around the town as well and I could see them as I hovered above. When I found an opportunity to catch what I wanted I’d swoop in and track it down. I was particularly interested in catching a lioness with the Ace of Diamonds symbol on her underbelly. She eluded my advances and I saw my best friend, Mike to my right. He was being chased by something behind me (us) and I started to move forward so as not to get caught. I monkey (presumed in my mind to be monkey king) ran in front of me and taunted me to catch him. He climbed the tree in the center and I caught up to him high up in the branches. When I caught him he faced me ad sat lotus style and asked me what I wanted to know. In the dream, a scrolling list popped up as if I was playing Zelda and had to interact with a townsperson. There were a lot of options and I can’t remember most of them (wish I could, I remember them being interesting). End of this scene.
I was in a field with people everywhere. It was outside of a concert that was playing loud music in a white tent to my right. Circling the tent were tall, half-nude men with Native American garb standing on 15 foot metal stilts. These men were everywhere, walking about, but focused more around the tent. I remember laying in the field listening to the muffled music with a girl I know. As I rolled over to speak with her 3 soft bunnies were in front of my face. I was particular take with a brown one and rubbed my face on its soft fur. As I rolled back over I was looking again at the tent and all of the stilted men were around it. The music quickened its pace and the men picked the whole tent up, crowd, band, music and all and begin spinning it round and round. As they spun they began walking off. End of this scene.
I was in the suburban scene now and inside of a hotel-like place. I was at an awards show and knew I was presenting something. I was nervous so I went to the bathroom and was met there by someone else who said something to me but I can’t remember. I left the bathroom and in the lobby someone was talking about finding ‘the Queen rabbit’. I wanted to help so I left the lobby and went outside to what was a suburban neighborhood. I began walking around in the backyard of the hotel/suburban size house and looking for the rabbit. Someone yelled they’d seen it run away and ran to the front and just missed seeing it. Then I spotted it dart out of a bush and it looked more like a dark brown platypus than anything else, but whatever. It was fast and easily got away from us but as it ran around a small pool it tripped and dropped its babies in the water. The babies were clutching the mother’s fur on top and must’ve lost their grip in the quick escape. My first reaction was to jump in and save the babies but I could only scoop up most of them (about 8) and one remained at the bottom of the pool. I was holding the babies on the edge of the pool and couldn’t reach back in to save the last one. I was stretching my arm but couldn’t get it and as I was straining my reach 3 or 4 began to slip. Instead of losing 3 or 4 more I stopped trying and stared at the motionless baby at the bottom of the pool. I noticed the mother coming out from under the bush and crawled up my back onto my head and whispered in my ear, “Hi Hi Hi, thank you!” I remember thinking about that last baby in the water and the mother crawled to her litter of safe babies and looked at me to say, ” He’s here. He’s just scared.” End of this scene.
I woke up for a short time here and when I got back into my dreams they were extremely fragmented and I can only remember small parts.
I was watching people, not myself, as they were being shaken in an earthquake. Literally, the worst earth-shaking quake you can imagine where it’s impossible to stand upright. I remember knowing that everyone I was watching would die and there were helicopters in the sky dropping riot crew gear to help shield people from the falling debris. The dream switched focus to a man who had no legs, lost in a war. He had been shot on his right stump where his leg should be. Then there was a short segment where I was back at home in my parents room talking with my sister. We were waiting for my parents to come into the room and read to us. We were sitting on the bed and I remember her asking me a question about whether or not I liked being at home. I told her a cryptic response about a meteorite that split into two, one half hurdling toward the earth and I was on the second part, flying away into outer-space.
Symbols of the dream:
Ace of Diamonds - My legacy or reputation
Lioness - Protect your interest. Hope, victory, tenacity ad stamina.
Rabbit - Luck, magical power, success. Positive outlook, abundace, warmth, fertility, sexual activity.
Earthquake - Major shake-up that is threatening stability and foundation
Meteorite - Success in a project. Realizing gaols and desires.
Monkey - Deceit, insight and intuition. Immature attitude, playful nature, mischievous side. Troubled.
There are a lot of elements I could analyze separately but I think I can handle the understanding of this one as a whole. First, I have never in my life had a libido this strong. I am empowered by so much around me and realizing my potential as a human so much faster now that I’m out of my parents’ house. I am a hurdling ball of sexual energy careening toward a future that I view with optimism. Second, the realization of being on my own is demanding that I catch up with my understanding of my mischievous, immature side and come to terms with my goals and legacies that have been eluding me. Third, I’m extremely nervous about my success in this endeavor because money is incredibly tight and I’m not sure how much longer I can sustain a positive outlook so long as I don’t have a job/steady income.
Honestly though, I can’t emphasize this enough - I am crazy horny and sexual these days and I’m doing my damned best to maintain a level composure and professional demeanor. It’s been more than 3 weeks now and the prospect of finding a girl that I’m into soon are pretty slim. That needs to change.
fantasin replied to your post: Dream Analysis
so are these dream analysis’ something you come up with your self or do you research them? they’re pretty cool!
I keep a dream journal by my bed and as soon as I wake up I write down as MUCH information as I can - shapes, colors, details, people, weird happenings, abstract visuals, questions that are asked/I ask, feelings in the moment, people I know, animals etc. Literally, everything can be traced back to some kind of association if you look at it in the context of the whole dream and compare it to issues you know to be heavy on your mind. Then I sit down with my notebook of fresh symbols and look at what they mean through a ‘dream dictionary’. The one I use is Dream Moods because it has an extensive list, but some signs take a little more digging. That’s about as much research as I’ve dedicated to them so far but if I keep having vivid dreams I may invest in some kind of professional book that goes a little deeper. I highly recommend keeping a dream journal at the very least, you forget 90% of your dream 10 minutes after waking up. The best part of my day is waking up, writing down my dream and spending a short 30 minutes figuring it all out. Amazing what a little clarity in the morning does for your well-being throughout the day.
Man, these really powerful dreams keep coming at me hard. This time around I woke up in a cold sweat with some really vivid and intense images to sort through. It’ll be tough to really explain it all but it gave me some great symbols and analysis to work with.
I’m in my room, in the corner where my bed sits. There’s very little light in the room and at one point I can see a white candle. I’m laying on my right side and above my head (to the right) I can identify someone. Below my legs (to my left) is another person, although I can’t hear or see them. The feeling in the room is that I’m about to be a part of some kind of seance or an attempt at communicating with spirits of some kind. I’m extremely nervous and I began to sweat. I hear a woman’s voice speaking and I get the sense to relax and let my mind go free. As I relax on my side I can feel the tension in the room heighten in my chest while the rest of my body is limp. I have my eyes 3/4 shut but I ca still make out a shape, like a black skeleton, slink across the room towards the person to my right. After seeing the figure I’m terrified of what will happen and I know that I’m next. I look down to my feet and see nothing, and when I look back I notice the figure coming towards me. It approaches from behind and begins to poke different spots on my spine. Each time it touches my spine there’s a surge of energy that jolts my whole right side. It jolts me about three times of intense energy before I hear the voice say to me, “It doesn’t have to be perfect, you just have to feel it.” The next time I feel the poke just below my naval (spleen chakra, I looked it up) I let my body take the energy and my head whips back. It’s an intense feeling, somewhere between an orgasm and pain and an image comes before me. I see two eyeballs with blue pigment. They look right and then left and then disappear. The voice tells me, “DO you want to see suffering?” Without answering my gut feeling is,”fuck that shit, that’s the LAST thing I want to see.” Instead, I see a written text note appear in front of my face with the only discernible writing saying something like, “Do one good thing for someone every day.”The energy began to fade slowly out and right before it went away I saw myself in a wet suit surfing a giant wave that crashed just over my head. Then the figure moved on past my legs and I could hear a voice from above my head (to my right) say, “take a look at number 6.” I tried to connect with the energy source to see what ‘number 6’ was seeing but I couldn’t connect. I took it to mean that I was number 7 and the one previous was number 8. When I realized I couldn’t tap into number 6 I noticed how drenched in sweat I was and woke up to being equally as sweaty and extremely hot.
It was really fucking intense, I don’t know if I can stress that enough. At one point I just knew there was nothing I could do and just went with whatever was going to happen. When the energy was surging through me my entire right side was twitching like a dog’s leg when you scratch it under the ear. Couple of symbols:
Surfing - Give in to the existing rhythm & go along for the ride. Take initiative. One minute you’re in control of your emotions, the next you aren’t.
Sweat - Overwhelming anxiety. Struggle breeds success. Cleansing of bad karma.
Candle - Good luck and hope will be coming in small and steady amounts. Comfortable stage, seeking spiritual enlightenment. You have intellectual enlightenment, awareness or search for truth.
Skeleton - Something is not fully developed. Planning stages of a project.
Waves - Handling your emotions
Wet suit - Slowly and safely exploring your inner feelings and emotions. Comfortable in acknowledging your vulnerabilities and feelings.
Energy - Symbolizes growth, activity, expansion and insight. Channel it in a positive way.
The number 6 - Cooperation, balance, tranquility, perfection, warmth, union, marriage, family, love. Spiritual states in harmony. Domestic bliss.
The number 7 - Healing, completion. 7 chakras. Uniqueness. Eccentricity.
Spleen chakra - Willingness to feel emotion. Element: water. Chakra of food and sex. What the body wants and needs. Ability to have children. Can be released through channeling physical stress and letting go.
All the symbols point to some pretty cool things that I would 100% agree with. I’m coming to a very cool point in my life. I feel healthier having worked o healing some deep emotional issues and by resolving things with my ex I’ve allowed myself personal growth. I like that my spleen chakra was released in the dream and keys in to the possibility of a stable future, especially in combination with the number 6 and being told to ‘watch it’. Both good food and good sex may be in the future? I’d take ‘em both right now, dinner time!
Last night was a pretty crazy dream. I only remember bits and pieces of it but it involved a lot of strange happenings. I remember so much of it in fragmented parts that it’s tough for me to put it all together to analyze. Still, there were some parts that I remember more vividly than others. If you can’t tell by now, I’m an extremely ‘good’ dreamer. I remember a lot of my dreams the next morning but I’ve only just recently started searching for answers and meaning through them. The most important aspect of my dream came when my Dad came into my room and began explaining why he was separated from my mother. I tried to tell him something along the lines of, “well, can’t you try and work it out first?” Then my Mom came in the room and she basically reiterated that the two of them didn’t want to be together and that they were separating. I wouldn’t call it a full-blown divorce but it was along those lines.
Obviously I remember this part for a number of reasons. Right now, as we speak, my parents are on their way to a Bed and Breakfast to enjoy quality time with one another and celebrate the New Year the right way. First day of the New Year and they’ll be greeted with champagne, a full dinner spread and the luxury of a five star place. From everything I know, they couldn’t be happier. So, why dream of them being separated?
Dream analysis suggests:
Everything but 3 really makes sense. It has to do with me moving out next week. It will be the first time my parents will have a true empty nest and I will actually be separated from them for what could be months before I see them again. It’s a positive thing because I need to live on my own and be my own person without their daily influence. It could also mean that the friendship I’ve renewed with my ex is not as healthy as it seems. Now that we’ve become friends and I’m about to move she seems to be in a different state of mind when it concerns me. I can’t tell if she’s happy I’m moving on or secretly resenting the fact that I’d leave without her (a ludicrous thought - to leave town without her, right?!). I don’t know about that last part, but if it comes up in my thoughts and I spit it out it at least means I’m thinking about the possibility.
I need to prioritize and get things straightened out before I move into this last week at home. So far I’ve just been ‘ready’ to move without getting ready to move. Should be a busy week.
I don’t remember everything about my dream but I remember enough details to pull out a small analysis. Here it is:
I ran into a room with light beaming in from the far end. A dalmatian lay peacefully at the top of a slide, dipping into the light. I ran to the top of the slide just as the dalmatian raised its head in alarm. He then spoke to me, saying that I was in danger. I tried to calm him by saying that it was alright, that it was just me and I meant no harm. He then sat straight up and warned me that I was being chased. As I looked back to the entrance that I came in was a brunette girl with piercing green and hazel eyes pointing a shotgun at me. She said something that I can’t remember and I slid down the slide to waters edge. I fell into the sand and tried to run, but didn’t get far before my pursuer was on the sand as well, it may have been a beach. She pointed the gun at me again and I hurled sand in her eyes to avoid getting shot. I panicked, and before the dream could take me I flashed to another scenario. This time I was in a school building. It felt like a highschool with lockers lining the walls. It was right before I was about to wake up and the dream became flooded with ‘dream gravity’. I could float down stairways instead of walk down them. As I drifted down slowly I bumped shoulders with the same brunette girl with those eyes. I remember staring at her eyes and talking to her as if I was talking through her body, through her face and into something deeper. I felt a connection but she never spoke, only smiled with what felt like her whole body. I wrapped my arms around her and when we reached the bottom of the stairs I passed through an archway and floated on, grabbing hold of the walls and pushing off to make my way down the hall and towards the gym.
That’s what I remember, time to analyze:
Critical thinking, wrap it all up.
All in all, this was a positive dream. I think it’s better that I come to this understanding now as I come into the final week and a half of living here. My goals are clear enough and I hope I can move forward with them.
